Us creatures gather at the hot springs

To wear a shirt, or to not wear a shirt, that is the question

I pet a deer this week. Yes, a wild animal. I scratched them between the ears like they were a dog.

I just know admitting this is going to enrage people. The hunters might think they're dinner, not a pet. The environmentalists will scold me for interacting with a wild animal because it's dangerous for both me and the animal.

Let me attempt to defend myself. I did not feed the deer. I was sitting in a camp chair next to a rushing creek, in dappled morning sunshine. The deer approached and nibbled on some leaves. The deer started to hang out, as some ducks and geese will. A duck will stand on one foot and close their eyes near you, if you sit still long enough. They decide you make a decent lookout for danger.

I grew up around horses, sheep, dogs, and cats - not ours, but our neighbor's. I have a pretty good sense of when an animal is planning to bite you and when they are just saying hi. This instinct applies to humans, also - I can often tell if a person is threatening or not with a quick glance.

This deer was hanging out eating leaves ten feet away from me. I'd never seen such a friendly deer. I reached my hand out, and as if they were a horse, the creature stepped towards me and carefully sniffed the back of my hand (fingers curled so they couldn't bite me).

This was a young deer, with no antlers. As they seemed comfortable being quite close to me, I slowly reached out for the top of their head and attempted a scritch, as I would for a horse or sheep. The deer seemed quite contented to receive a little head scratch.

It was one of those surreal, magical, Snow White in the forest moments.

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking people at face value, with as few assumptions as possible. I mean trying not to stereotype based on gender, clothing, or appearance. I think this is hard to do. We make assumptions. Our quick judgement of a situation can save a life in a violent circumstance.

The trick is to keep examining the situation after your initial reaction. If you were a deer, would you look twice at a human and decide this particular one had no harmful intentions? That makes you an unusual deer.

I've soaked in hot springs for hours this week. These naturally heated pools of water were on public land. It's customary to chat a bit with other people who are in the hot spring also. People want to know where you're from, and where you're driving to next. Often people exchange ideas for local hikes or places to stay.

We even met someone who also foraged mushrooms, like us! He chatted about hen of the woods (his favorite) and his other finds.

After we got out of the hot water, we were shocked to see a rattlesnake only a few feet from the other side of the pool.

The snake sunned themself for a while and didn't move while we watched. Sparrows flew back and forth and settled in to drink some warm water in this oasis in the Nevada desert. Even a venomous snake could chill with us. No one made a threatening move.

Hot springs are sometimes a clothing optional kind of place. It's not uncommon to see half the people wearing bathing suits and half wearing nothing. I often wear a T-shirt and swim trunks.

(Check out my YouTube video swimming in my favorite hot spring of all time!)

One afternoon as we arrived at the hot spring, nearly everyone else was naked. I felt overdressed in my sports bra and shorts. As a nonbinary person, I often feel more like a boy than a girl. I wear a sports bra as a way to hide a part of my body often associated with being a woman. My bra felt uncomfortably present on my chest because I knew, in this particular group of people out in the wilderness, I could take it off and no one would care.

I buzzed with indecision for minutes, then pulled off the offending garment and placed it carefully on a rock behind me. I sank into the hot water up to my neck. No one particularly noticed. Like I said, most other people were already naked, chatting or silent, just hanging out.

I felt like I was dressed the same as the other guys, in a swimming situation where I wouldn't be penalized for it. Because both women and men could be naked there, what I was doing was okay regardless of my gender.

Perhaps obviously, I don't pass as a guy. Two men we chatted with each called me 'she' a few times. This doesn't offend me. People are trained to make assumptions from a very young age. Some of these assumptions keep us safe.

I'm more offended they joked about 'even she dunked in the cold water' as if I look like I can't tolerate a little dip in the river. Just kidding. But I can, actually, deal with the cold plunge better than most of you!

These folks told some entertaining stories and we even ran into them for a second evening. I wore a T-shirt the second day. They acted towards me the same, shirt or no shirt. That's taking me at face value - I like it!

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For more mountains, lakes, and wildlife, check out my trip videos on:

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Take care,

Rey