How joy and support helped me find how I fit in. I crafted my story to be one of trans joy. You can find many trans stories that inspire rage, frustration, and grief, but I believe it’s important to realize what’s possible when trans people are loved and supported.
Coming out stories vary so widely throughout queer communities. I'm so glad yours includes joy and curiosity along with acceptance. We need more opportunities to express our joy and to rewrite that societal narrative about coming out!
To that end, here is a brief story about a 6 year old I know. As we sat in a community garden together weeding carrot rows, I explained to this child that I am a boy, not a girl. I asked them how they felt hearing that. They said, "at school my friend Abdul sometimes calls me a boy on the playground... And it feels GREAT!" I asked then if this child wanted me to use he/him pronouns for them, to which they said no. A week later they approached me and said they really did want he/him pronouns. It was nothing but excitement from him from that moment on!
I wish all of our coming out stories felt as joyful as that moment in the carrot bed, the way he said "GREAT!" as though channeling Tony the tiger.
Do all of our stories start with "I was terrified to come out..."? I know mine does. Some of the scary stuff did come true but the part that I didn't anticipate was how much my joy/smile would impact my day to day?
I was so withdrawn from the world before coming out. That has changed.
It's personal histories like this one that demonstrate how very much courage it can take to acknowledge something about oneself that so many people are far from understanding. I can see it takes courage I can't imagine even needing, let alone summoning.
Thanks, Rey! I've been laying low lately, but a few posts (yours included) have been intriguing enough to encourage me back out into the open. I so appreciate your consistent ability to embrace joy without ignoring or denying the grittier side of things. You grieve for Nex in the same post where you share a very encouraging coming out story (your partner sounds awesome), and you do it in a way that, instead of seeming paradoxical or all over the place, brilliantly conveys the complexity of this trans-hostile culture we live in where it is so vital to our well being that we cherish the moments of grace, joy, and compassion. You are a gem. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, Rey. All coming out stories are worthy of being honored. I am so glad you have such a supportive partner. You deserve to be loved and affirmed like that.
Rey is fortunate to have a partner who is supportive. I think the partners who love those who come out are equally blessed to have such a wonderful person to share life with.
Thanks for your story Rey. I'm happy you have a partner with an open mind. A lot of people do not have that quality.
I moved from California to Oklahoma 5 years ago. I'm about 30 minutes from owasso where Nix Benedict was assaulted and later died. It is so sad. I have to say though the local news coverage seems to be open-minded and fair.
BTW, I agree with your partner that you look hot! I think you know that though. I cannot imagine what you must feel, but I thank you for expressing it. I had a girlfriend that look like you and she was a phenomenal one. You are lucky that you can be both. That's probably the way everybody should be. I'm rambling so I will stop.
Coming out stories vary so widely throughout queer communities. I'm so glad yours includes joy and curiosity along with acceptance. We need more opportunities to express our joy and to rewrite that societal narrative about coming out!
To that end, here is a brief story about a 6 year old I know. As we sat in a community garden together weeding carrot rows, I explained to this child that I am a boy, not a girl. I asked them how they felt hearing that. They said, "at school my friend Abdul sometimes calls me a boy on the playground... And it feels GREAT!" I asked then if this child wanted me to use he/him pronouns for them, to which they said no. A week later they approached me and said they really did want he/him pronouns. It was nothing but excitement from him from that moment on!
I wish all of our coming out stories felt as joyful as that moment in the carrot bed, the way he said "GREAT!" as though channeling Tony the tiger.
Do all of our stories start with "I was terrified to come out..."? I know mine does. Some of the scary stuff did come true but the part that I didn't anticipate was how much my joy/smile would impact my day to day?
I was so withdrawn from the world before coming out. That has changed.
It's personal histories like this one that demonstrate how very much courage it can take to acknowledge something about oneself that so many people are far from understanding. I can see it takes courage I can't imagine even needing, let alone summoning.
Thanks, Rey! I've been laying low lately, but a few posts (yours included) have been intriguing enough to encourage me back out into the open. I so appreciate your consistent ability to embrace joy without ignoring or denying the grittier side of things. You grieve for Nex in the same post where you share a very encouraging coming out story (your partner sounds awesome), and you do it in a way that, instead of seeming paradoxical or all over the place, brilliantly conveys the complexity of this trans-hostile culture we live in where it is so vital to our well being that we cherish the moments of grace, joy, and compassion. You are a gem. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, Rey. All coming out stories are worthy of being honored. I am so glad you have such a supportive partner. You deserve to be loved and affirmed like that.
Rey is fortunate to have a partner who is supportive. I think the partners who love those who come out are equally blessed to have such a wonderful person to share life with.
Thanks for your story Rey. I'm happy you have a partner with an open mind. A lot of people do not have that quality.
I moved from California to Oklahoma 5 years ago. I'm about 30 minutes from owasso where Nix Benedict was assaulted and later died. It is so sad. I have to say though the local news coverage seems to be open-minded and fair.
BTW, I agree with your partner that you look hot! I think you know that though. I cannot imagine what you must feel, but I thank you for expressing it. I had a girlfriend that look like you and she was a phenomenal one. You are lucky that you can be both. That's probably the way everybody should be. I'm rambling so I will stop.