I think, for people that are not inherently interested in martial arts, and/or afraid of these elements, I like to emphasize that ukemi is really about receiving the intention of the other person and trying to understand it. In a practice setting within aikido, this manifests as throwing and falling usually, but it doesn't necessarily have to. Psychologically and in the wider world, I think it means being ready to accept and flow with whatever you're given, from anyone. I think that's a pretty powerful and potentially radical idea. Empathy can be dangerous, but also exhilarating.
That feels very true, Nick, thank you for sharing this insight. I think I tend to be quite literal when it comes to martial arts, but your comment has reminded me to think outside of the motions of practice and how it can be applied more broadly for greater understanding and connection with others. Thanks!
That’s part of why I like the essays and books of Ellis Amdur. Through his long years of research, scholarship, and life lived as a psychologist, he really draws out the details of the deeper significance of these things. He’s written pretty extensively about how Ueshiba, beyond being a respected martial artist throughout Japan and attracting the best students who were mystified by his abilities, actually saw his entire practice in a very religious and mystical light. This might unnerve people who try to put a logical machinery approach to aikido, “that was just silly craziness, here’s how to do a joint lock,” but for him, the two halves were inseparable. That alone makes these ideas worth investigating, and seeing how we can use them to dig below the surface.
Interesting, thanks for sharing! I'll have to look him up. I think I'm more on the logical machinery side myself but I do like the way you relate these ideas to more broadly being able to relate to people in healthy ways.
Of course you are, you’re a physicist turned software person!
Yes, that’s the ultimate point of it all to me; otherwise I’d get bored of it all pretty quickly. I mentioned people like Dan Harden to you in the past (of whom Ellis says publicly in some of his books, that he owes a debt to some ideas he’s since learned from)—it’s not just the power and the technique that’s beautiful about what he’s doing, it’s an articulation of the roots and the structures they come from. That’s art! And art is a portal to the soul.
I find myself wondering if there is an element of physicality and roughness, in a form largely denied people AFAB, that you simply enjoy for its own sake (and that is an important part of why you're drawn to aikido, that it is largely safe, practiced, AND physically rough).
When I was a little kid, I loved to play tackle football BECAUSE of the hitting (I had a few things I was working through😉). I regret the long term damage that was caused to my body but I get that part of what I was seeking was the intensity and physicality(something not denied young people AMAB).
Hi Shayne, that's a good point - I am somewhat drawn to the roughness of the sport, yes. In my experience people of various genders can be into physically rough activities, regardless of how they were socialized growing up. Thanks for sharing!
As luck would have it, right after reading your reply, Rey, I came across this quote while reading "Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants" by Robin Wall Kimmerer. The first essay in the book is her retelling of the Skywoman story, which is a traditional Creation story from her ancestors (she is Potawatomi):
"Perhaps the Skywoman story endures because we too are always falling. Our lives, both personal and collective, share her trajectory. Whether we jump or are pushed, or the edge of the known world just crumbles at our feet, we fall, spinning into someplace new and unexpected. Despite our fears of falling, the gifts of the world stand by to catch us."
Oh, this is a beautiful story about falling. I love this. Thank you for sharing.
I read Braiding Sweetgrass and really loved it and appreciated Robin Wall Kimmerer's wisdom. I don't remember this part specifically but that is a great reason to re-read! I'll put it on my to-read-list.
I wish I could remember the name of this movie I saw a long time ago where someone suggests to the protagonist that she practice falling on purpose as a way of learning not to try to control her life so much. I really liked that. If you think about it, falling and getting back up is one of the very first things most of us learn in life. There is probably nobody who is able to walk who didn't gain that ability through a process that involved a LOT of falling down. Falling down, and finding a way to get up again, has either literal or figurative importance in virtually every aspect of life. It makes perfect sense to me that practicing that condition of being forced to fall would be a big part of any martial art.
That's a great point, LC, about falling as practicing a lack of control. Ironically, by being willing to give up that control in a safe situation, I feel I have learned to be more comfortable with the control I do have over the events in my life. I think falling, literally and metaphorically, is very relevant to many aspects of life. Thanks for sharing!
Rey, this is all so brilliant. And it makes me think...
Falling in love
Falling for a good (or bad) joke
Falling out of grace
Falling for comedy
Falling into someone's arms
We fall all the time, metaphorically and literally, and the practice of falling is often contrary to the violence we ascribe it. Thanks for opening our eyes to the why of falling. I really enjoyed this.
I totally fell for your article title by the way 😉
Ahh, all the ways we can fall, I love this so much, Robin!!
I think I tend to be very literal when thinking about martial arts, but this is reminding me of the power of metaphor and how falling can more generally be a connection to others. It's so interesting to me that most of these (especially falling in love, falling into someone's arms) are nonviolent ways of describing human interaction with each other.
I'm thinking of writing a follow-up about metaphorical falling...would it be alright if I quote your comment in a future post?
I think, for people that are not inherently interested in martial arts, and/or afraid of these elements, I like to emphasize that ukemi is really about receiving the intention of the other person and trying to understand it. In a practice setting within aikido, this manifests as throwing and falling usually, but it doesn't necessarily have to. Psychologically and in the wider world, I think it means being ready to accept and flow with whatever you're given, from anyone. I think that's a pretty powerful and potentially radical idea. Empathy can be dangerous, but also exhilarating.
That feels very true, Nick, thank you for sharing this insight. I think I tend to be quite literal when it comes to martial arts, but your comment has reminded me to think outside of the motions of practice and how it can be applied more broadly for greater understanding and connection with others. Thanks!
That’s part of why I like the essays and books of Ellis Amdur. Through his long years of research, scholarship, and life lived as a psychologist, he really draws out the details of the deeper significance of these things. He’s written pretty extensively about how Ueshiba, beyond being a respected martial artist throughout Japan and attracting the best students who were mystified by his abilities, actually saw his entire practice in a very religious and mystical light. This might unnerve people who try to put a logical machinery approach to aikido, “that was just silly craziness, here’s how to do a joint lock,” but for him, the two halves were inseparable. That alone makes these ideas worth investigating, and seeing how we can use them to dig below the surface.
Interesting, thanks for sharing! I'll have to look him up. I think I'm more on the logical machinery side myself but I do like the way you relate these ideas to more broadly being able to relate to people in healthy ways.
Of course you are, you’re a physicist turned software person!
Yes, that’s the ultimate point of it all to me; otherwise I’d get bored of it all pretty quickly. I mentioned people like Dan Harden to you in the past (of whom Ellis says publicly in some of his books, that he owes a debt to some ideas he’s since learned from)—it’s not just the power and the technique that’s beautiful about what he’s doing, it’s an articulation of the roots and the structures they come from. That’s art! And art is a portal to the soul.
Hi Rey,
I find myself wondering if there is an element of physicality and roughness, in a form largely denied people AFAB, that you simply enjoy for its own sake (and that is an important part of why you're drawn to aikido, that it is largely safe, practiced, AND physically rough).
When I was a little kid, I loved to play tackle football BECAUSE of the hitting (I had a few things I was working through😉). I regret the long term damage that was caused to my body but I get that part of what I was seeking was the intensity and physicality(something not denied young people AMAB).
Hi Shayne, that's a good point - I am somewhat drawn to the roughness of the sport, yes. In my experience people of various genders can be into physically rough activities, regardless of how they were socialized growing up. Thanks for sharing!
As luck would have it, right after reading your reply, Rey, I came across this quote while reading "Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants" by Robin Wall Kimmerer. The first essay in the book is her retelling of the Skywoman story, which is a traditional Creation story from her ancestors (she is Potawatomi):
"Perhaps the Skywoman story endures because we too are always falling. Our lives, both personal and collective, share her trajectory. Whether we jump or are pushed, or the edge of the known world just crumbles at our feet, we fall, spinning into someplace new and unexpected. Despite our fears of falling, the gifts of the world stand by to catch us."
Oh, this is a beautiful story about falling. I love this. Thank you for sharing.
I read Braiding Sweetgrass and really loved it and appreciated Robin Wall Kimmerer's wisdom. I don't remember this part specifically but that is a great reason to re-read! I'll put it on my to-read-list.
I wish I could remember the name of this movie I saw a long time ago where someone suggests to the protagonist that she practice falling on purpose as a way of learning not to try to control her life so much. I really liked that. If you think about it, falling and getting back up is one of the very first things most of us learn in life. There is probably nobody who is able to walk who didn't gain that ability through a process that involved a LOT of falling down. Falling down, and finding a way to get up again, has either literal or figurative importance in virtually every aspect of life. It makes perfect sense to me that practicing that condition of being forced to fall would be a big part of any martial art.
That's a great point, LC, about falling as practicing a lack of control. Ironically, by being willing to give up that control in a safe situation, I feel I have learned to be more comfortable with the control I do have over the events in my life. I think falling, literally and metaphorically, is very relevant to many aspects of life. Thanks for sharing!
My 11 y/o son does Akkido because his 50 y/o Aunt got him into it. He loves it.
That's great, Dave, thanks for sharing! I started karate class at age 11 and it really changed my life.
Rey, this is all so brilliant. And it makes me think...
Falling in love
Falling for a good (or bad) joke
Falling out of grace
Falling for comedy
Falling into someone's arms
We fall all the time, metaphorically and literally, and the practice of falling is often contrary to the violence we ascribe it. Thanks for opening our eyes to the why of falling. I really enjoyed this.
I totally fell for your article title by the way 😉
Ahh, all the ways we can fall, I love this so much, Robin!!
I think I tend to be very literal when thinking about martial arts, but this is reminding me of the power of metaphor and how falling can more generally be a connection to others. It's so interesting to me that most of these (especially falling in love, falling into someone's arms) are nonviolent ways of describing human interaction with each other.
I'm thinking of writing a follow-up about metaphorical falling...would it be alright if I quote your comment in a future post?
Thank you for sharing!
Yes and always! You know I'm a huge fan of your work. I can't wait to see where you take this. It's like a trust fall, you could say!
OMG the trust fall!! I find all these falling-related phrases really fascinating.
Aww, thanks so much, Robin! That means a lot from you. I really admire your work.