You are amazing. Yes, you. You care about people and about learning and you're interested in cool things. I mean that!
It's easier to see someone else's accomplishment than your own, generally.
Imposter syndrome is a really interesting thing. So many people feel like an imposter when they try to do something impressive.
As we drove down 395 to our next dispersed camping spot, my tuned-into-pop-culture partner put on a podcast, Better in Person with Stephen Dubner. (https://freakonomics.com/.)
The episode featured an interview with Harlan Coben, best-selling author of dozens of novels, some adapted to exceedingly popular Netflix shows.
I was surprised to hear this famous author share an experience that almost sounded like insecurity. Coben said that when he shares a first draft with his publisher these days, he doesn't want any feedback yet. Criticism too early would ruin the project. And he still has that fear that his work might not be good.
I mean, the fear doesn't stop him from writing fascinating books, but, think about it for a minute: the fear never goes away!!
This sounds just like most of the writers I know personally, who are (not yet) as famous. And Coben doesn't even have to deal with living with a marginalized identity, or be a caregiver, or worry about money at this point in his career.
Do you know what this means? Many of the confident, accomplished people we know who are starting businesses, writing books, and standing up for causes they believe in, are doing it scared.
They are doing it anyway, despite their fear!
And if you're thinking, no way, let me remind you - anxiety is a type of fear. And please don't tell me I am the only one living with creepy crawly anxiety as I second guess my work.
The fear is also relevant to living as a trans and/or non-binary person. It's scary to know that lawmakers are trying to remove us from public life and that some members of our families and communities don't approve of who we are.
But we keep going despite the fear. We come out to our families and friends. We advocate for our healthcare. We creatively express our experiences. And slowly, our communities grow more empathy.
This is amazing work by amazing people!
Thank YOU for the part you play in growing empathy for trans people.
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I'm honored to share this lovely response to my recent piece about stereotypes shared with me by a reader:
I so much agree on the topic of stereotypes.
In my life being trans was not meant to be a project of going from one stereotype type to the other.
It was to find a true expression of my self.
To get some kind of alignment between outer and inner feeling.
Stereotypes are dangerous. Squeeze your soul and body into a form.
There you are. All rectangular and you can fit in everywhere.
But we are humans and long for the freedom of expression.
An alignment between how you feel inside and how you appear.
It's not so strange. It makes you feel better. It loosens up the inner knots and there's a place to move...room enough to get a little more...ya. this is me.
It's nice to be human, isn't it? We were not meant to fit inside a form.
--Mischa Rebecca Winther
Beautiful reflection, thank you so much for sharing, Rebecca!
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What do you think about anxiety vs. accomplishments? Let us know in the comments!
